Written by Aja D.
I don’t think I even knew that I needed “a place to begin again”. This was that phrase that stood out to me when a friend sent me a link about a new church plant that she heard about. She knew how I was feeling about “church” at the time . . . that I actually wasn’t feeling it at all. I had recently stopped going to the church I had been a member of for 2 years. COVID was a good cover but we (my husband and I) knew that there were deeper reasons (that’s a whole other blog for another day). This became more apparent as churches started re-opening and we were still in our bed on Sunday morning. No, we didn’t give up on God or our faith. We still listened to, and watched, sermons. We were still involved in a beloved, non-church affiliated, Bible Study. We didn’t withdraw from our friends that were church-affiliated. We just knew that we couldn’t go back to what was.
In the more recent years of my life I have studied the Bible in a way that I never have before. It has brought enlightenment, grounding, deepened trust and connection with God, and FRUSTRATION! There is something to be said for not living in ignorance and being aware of the disparities between the truth and “what is, is”, as my grandmother would say. I am one of those who “grew up in church” so to be in a process where I was re-evaluating what church was, is, and is supposed to be, was very foreign and yet, quite liberating. So here I was, reading this man’s words about beginning again. I felt so validated: “So it’s not just me?? There is someone else out there who recognizes that this thing is screwed up . . . Who realizes that we need a do-over??”. I had to check it out. I reached out to Cameron, the visionary for all of this “begin again” stuff. I found him to be refreshingly down to earth and personable. What was most important to me was that he wanted to hear my story/my “why” and was totally open to my thoughts and experiences. He didn’t have some kind of manipulative alternative motive to get me “back in the sanctuary”. As a therapist, I know the value of being heard in a safe space and that is what happened for me. I was not at all familiar with the Anglican tradition and to be honest, it was a turn off, but first impressions are everything so I figured “nothing beats a failure but a try”.
Fast forward to two years later. Two years of having corrective emotional experiences. Two years of reflection and moving forward at the same time. Two years of being given permission to do this thing differently. Do this thing in a way that resonates with the church’s true purpose. Two years of not feeling guilty, confused, pressured, transactional, or disconnected. Two years of seeing God’s beautiful diverse kingdom come as they are, hear the truth of God’s Word, serve the community, be valued not for what we can bring to the table but for who God created us to be, and two years of God reminding me that He still has a plan for His bride, the church.
At a time where I thought a staple in my life no longer had a place, Emmanuel Anglican invited me to begin again! I am so glad I did. I am so glad that I didn’t give up on the church. I guess I really did need a reset and I needed to know that it was ok to do so. And please hear me out, it’s not about beginning again in a new denomination (I am still a newbie in that regard) but it’s about giving yourself the opportunity to experience the fullness of God’s glory in the Body of Christ. If you feel like you know how to “do church” or have “done church” for too long, I challenge you to be open to something different that God might be calling you to. I too thought I had seen it all and every church was just a replica of itself with a small tweak here or there but God knew how to get my attention. He knew what I needed and what I was looking for even when I didn’t. He’s good like that. Here’s to new beginnings!
